The Greyhound Chronicles
'Saving Private Ryan' is an iconic movie starring Tom Hanks which won five Oscars, the movie is about a mission to save a soldier at the front. His brothers have been killed in the war and the generals decide that he must be removed from the front. It's a uniquely American idea which makes little sense to anyone else. Dozens of soldiers die in the course of this mission to save one soldier but apparently it is still a good idea.
On my last trip to theUS, I decided to fly to Newark on the non-stop flight from Mumbai and take a bus from there instead of the usual hopping flights required to get to Pittsburgh. The flight landed on time. I got out of the airport in an hour. I got a taxi to the Greyhound Station. It was less than 4 miles from the airport. So far, so good.
The Greyhound station was closed. It opens at 7.00 AM. For some reason the first bus to Pittsburgh leaves at 6.50 AM. There is no way to buy a ticket for that bus.
The next bus to Pittsburgh is at 7.55 AM. There are two options. You can change at Philadelphia to another bus and reach Pittsburgh at about 4.30 PM or you can stay on this bus which also reaches Pittsburgh at about 6.00 PM. I decided to stay on this bus and sleep through the ride.
The bus arrived on time. One of the passengers was a lady on the wheelchair. The buses have a lift kind of arrangement to haul the wheelchair into the bus. The bus driver either could not make the system work or the lift malfunctioned. In any case the protocol method to get the lady in the wheelchair into the bus did not work.
If this were India, there would be many jugaad methods to solve the problem. But not in America. Phone calls were made. The suggestion was made that the bus could proceed with the other passengers and the lady could be put on the next bus. The suggestion was vetoed. Apparently it would be unjust. Everyone was offloaded from the bus including people who had boarded in New York. Their luggage was also offloaded and the bus was declared disabled. Apparently a replacement bus was being dispatched. I was relieved I had not opted for the transfer in Philadelphia as I would surely have missed the connection.
While we were waiting for the replacement bus, the next scheduled bus came and went. We were not allowed on that although there was enough space because our tickets were for the previous bus. By now, even the wheelchair lady would have been earlier on her way if we had gone in the original bus and she had been out on the next one. Justice had been served in the most American way possible. If this were 'Saving Private Ryan' then this would be the moment Private Ryan was run over by a Taxi upon landing on American soil.
In any case, eventually the 'replacement' bus arrived and we were all loaded on.
The lady in question got off at Philadelphia. The next stop was the oddly named 'King of Prussia'. A couple got on here and noticed that the seat which had been moved to accommodate the wheelchair was not securely back in place. The driver called ahead to have 'technical help' at the next stop, Harrisburg.
The Harrisburg stop was unduly prolonged as they attempted to wrestle the seat back into place. By now the bus was about 3 hours behind schedule. The driver had completed the number of hours she was allowed to drive continuously and we had to wait for another driver to take over.
This lady had a distinctly idiosyncratic style of driving. Perhaps it was the first time she was driving a bus. She would approach a turn as though she was driving a small car, realise too late that she was driving a bus and that it would no longer make the turn. She would edge into the road slowly, stop, back up, and carefully renegotiate the turn.
Somewhat disconcertingly, she was using Google Maps on her mobile phone to find her way.
I drifted off to sleep for some time but I snapped awake when the person behind me said "what the fuck are we doing in Maryland?" My knowledge of US geography may be spotty but I do know that we were not supposed to be in the state of Maryland.
Google maps was no longer working. No data perhaps. A couple of passengers tried asking her whether we were on schedule. She studiously ignored them. Then her phone rang and a long conversation ensued of which we could hear only one end "what d'you mean I'm off course, I followed the signs." "How do I get back?" Apparently the Greyhound office which tracks the buses had noticed that this bus was not only off schedule but also off course.
After a long conversation, she seemed to have figured out how to get back to Pittsburgh. By now most of the passengers had their GPS going and they were protesting that she was still going in the wrong direction. If fact she was heading off at a right angle to the shortest route to Pittsburgh.
Finally, tired of the complaints, she pulled the bus over and told us "my itinerary requires a 'rest stop' at Slippery Rock. With one voice everyone said 'we don't want a rest stop. Let's just go to Pittsburgh. Please'. No. She would not hear a word. 'It's on my itinerary. I have to go there first.' Someone rather uncharitably asked 'was Maryland on your itinerary as well'?
After we (figuratively) slithered sideways to Slippery Rock and pulled in to the rest stop facility, most of us determinedly protested by not getting out of the bus. However, a couple of guys did get out for a smoke. After a timed 30 minute stop, we set off for Pittsburgh again.
Just as we were about to reach the highway, someone said 'hey, wasn't there a guy with a laptop sitting in the seat in front of me?' Sure enough, we all remembered a young man sitting there with a laptop and headphones. He must have got off at the rest stop and not returned before we set off. One of the passengers volunteered to go back and look for the guy. He came and told the driver 'he said to go on.' He told us in a lower voice 'he said he'll find his own way home. He's not getting back into this bus.'
We reached Pittsburgh at about midnight (should have been 4.30 PM with my original itinerary). True to form, it took her three attempts to get the bus into the parking dock.
But justice was served. American style.
On my last trip to theUS, I decided to fly to Newark on the non-stop flight from Mumbai and take a bus from there instead of the usual hopping flights required to get to Pittsburgh. The flight landed on time. I got out of the airport in an hour. I got a taxi to the Greyhound Station. It was less than 4 miles from the airport. So far, so good.
The Greyhound station was closed. It opens at 7.00 AM. For some reason the first bus to Pittsburgh leaves at 6.50 AM. There is no way to buy a ticket for that bus.
The next bus to Pittsburgh is at 7.55 AM. There are two options. You can change at Philadelphia to another bus and reach Pittsburgh at about 4.30 PM or you can stay on this bus which also reaches Pittsburgh at about 6.00 PM. I decided to stay on this bus and sleep through the ride.
The bus arrived on time. One of the passengers was a lady on the wheelchair. The buses have a lift kind of arrangement to haul the wheelchair into the bus. The bus driver either could not make the system work or the lift malfunctioned. In any case the protocol method to get the lady in the wheelchair into the bus did not work.
If this were India, there would be many jugaad methods to solve the problem. But not in America. Phone calls were made. The suggestion was made that the bus could proceed with the other passengers and the lady could be put on the next bus. The suggestion was vetoed. Apparently it would be unjust. Everyone was offloaded from the bus including people who had boarded in New York. Their luggage was also offloaded and the bus was declared disabled. Apparently a replacement bus was being dispatched. I was relieved I had not opted for the transfer in Philadelphia as I would surely have missed the connection.
While we were waiting for the replacement bus, the next scheduled bus came and went. We were not allowed on that although there was enough space because our tickets were for the previous bus. By now, even the wheelchair lady would have been earlier on her way if we had gone in the original bus and she had been out on the next one. Justice had been served in the most American way possible. If this were 'Saving Private Ryan' then this would be the moment Private Ryan was run over by a Taxi upon landing on American soil.
In any case, eventually the 'replacement' bus arrived and we were all loaded on.
The lady in question got off at Philadelphia. The next stop was the oddly named 'King of Prussia'. A couple got on here and noticed that the seat which had been moved to accommodate the wheelchair was not securely back in place. The driver called ahead to have 'technical help' at the next stop, Harrisburg.
The Harrisburg stop was unduly prolonged as they attempted to wrestle the seat back into place. By now the bus was about 3 hours behind schedule. The driver had completed the number of hours she was allowed to drive continuously and we had to wait for another driver to take over.
This lady had a distinctly idiosyncratic style of driving. Perhaps it was the first time she was driving a bus. She would approach a turn as though she was driving a small car, realise too late that she was driving a bus and that it would no longer make the turn. She would edge into the road slowly, stop, back up, and carefully renegotiate the turn.
Somewhat disconcertingly, she was using Google Maps on her mobile phone to find her way.
I drifted off to sleep for some time but I snapped awake when the person behind me said "what the fuck are we doing in Maryland?" My knowledge of US geography may be spotty but I do know that we were not supposed to be in the state of Maryland.
Google maps was no longer working. No data perhaps. A couple of passengers tried asking her whether we were on schedule. She studiously ignored them. Then her phone rang and a long conversation ensued of which we could hear only one end "what d'you mean I'm off course, I followed the signs." "How do I get back?" Apparently the Greyhound office which tracks the buses had noticed that this bus was not only off schedule but also off course.
After a long conversation, she seemed to have figured out how to get back to Pittsburgh. By now most of the passengers had their GPS going and they were protesting that she was still going in the wrong direction. If fact she was heading off at a right angle to the shortest route to Pittsburgh.
Finally, tired of the complaints, she pulled the bus over and told us "my itinerary requires a 'rest stop' at Slippery Rock. With one voice everyone said 'we don't want a rest stop. Let's just go to Pittsburgh. Please'. No. She would not hear a word. 'It's on my itinerary. I have to go there first.' Someone rather uncharitably asked 'was Maryland on your itinerary as well'?
After we (figuratively) slithered sideways to Slippery Rock and pulled in to the rest stop facility, most of us determinedly protested by not getting out of the bus. However, a couple of guys did get out for a smoke. After a timed 30 minute stop, we set off for Pittsburgh again.
Just as we were about to reach the highway, someone said 'hey, wasn't there a guy with a laptop sitting in the seat in front of me?' Sure enough, we all remembered a young man sitting there with a laptop and headphones. He must have got off at the rest stop and not returned before we set off. One of the passengers volunteered to go back and look for the guy. He came and told the driver 'he said to go on.' He told us in a lower voice 'he said he'll find his own way home. He's not getting back into this bus.'
We reached Pittsburgh at about midnight (should have been 4.30 PM with my original itinerary). True to form, it took her three attempts to get the bus into the parking dock.
But justice was served. American style.
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